I am writing this as I sit in the Seattle airport waiting to go home after a long weekend at Camp Mustache 3. (More on Camp Mustache later in the week as I write a roundup post.) The weekend was nothing short of incredible. The people I met and the stories shared have me tingly all over. One of the events of the weekend is climbing Mount Si. While climbing the hill our group talked and shared more stories about our lives. These get-togethers always entail a lot of “Where you from?” questions. While I was climbing Mount Si I was asked how I met Mrs. Accountant. I have a blog post in process on how to build a long-term, fulfilling relationship; today I want to focus on how to find the ideal mate.
Twenty nine years ago I was still taking a few college classes here and there. Our story deals with Macro-Economics class. Class was from 4 pm to 7 pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Next to the college was a bowling alley and bar called The Image. The Image had Happy Hour on Thursday until seven. Several students, the Wealthy Accountant included, talked the professor into ending class a few minutes early on Thursdays so we could catch the tail end of Happy Hour.
Thursday Happy Hour at The Image had two advantages: $1 drinks and all the tacos you can eat. As a frugal college student I bought a soda and loaded my plate with tacos. For one dollar I could enjoy dinner with friends. My tightwad nature brought me to The Image for the fantastic deal. Other people with similar attitudes attended.
One special Thursday on April 2nd, 1987, a quiet young woman also enjoyed the Happy Hour deal at The Image. The details are important, but not to this story. The result is I met Mrs. Accountant, married her one year and one week later and stayed married for the next 28 years and still run strong. I found my perfect mate at a bar. Neither Mrs. Accountant, nor I frequent bars. It was only a chance encounter over a low cost dinner option that crossed our paths. If not for our frugal ways we would never have met.
Mrs. Accountant and I share many similar values. We have different interests, of course. Our values brought us to The Image that fateful evening. It is no surprise I found a soul mate there. People with similar interests and values frequently cross paths. When you are dragged someplace you are uninterested in you are less likely to find that special someone. It is not impossible, just less likely.
A life-long relationship happens when two people with shared interests move forward together. The odds of meeting increase exponentially when you congregate where you are most happy. A religious person is most likely to find the perfect mate at church or other religious gathering; frugal minded individuals interested in early retirement have a good chance of meeting new friends and a mate at Camp Mustache; and a frugal college student bent on building enough net worth at an early age to pursue all the crazy ideas he has, has a better chance of meeting that special someone who will light his fantasies for a lifetime at a one dollar Happy Hour dinner at The Image.
There are other considerations. Mrs. Accountant and I are not connected at the hip. (I climbed Mount Si; she did not.) The strength of our relationship creates an absolute confidence in her. I never worry she will leave me or even temporarily stray. She can attend an event I am uninterested in and I encourage her to go. We share a common bond. Our values are similar when it comes to relationships, money, work, retirement, travel, children, etc. She has fewer crazy interests than me. I have an insatiable curiosity. Mrs. Accountant allows me to explore these interests without complaint or being judgmental. And trust me, I have some flaky ideas.
My perfect mate showed up when I least expected it. I swore I would never date anyone I met in a bar. Then the cute Mrs. Accountant showed up and the rest is history. In the next 29 years Mrs. Accountant and I have been in a bar less than 20 times. It was that one chance encounter that made all the difference to my life and the happiness I have.
Increase the Odds
My life experience is an example of how you can find a special someone to share your life with. Here are a few tips I recommend you consider:
- Keep your eyes open. When you least expect it your soul mate will appear.
- Attend events that move you. Don’t attend looking for a date; attend to satiate your mental lusts. It is at these moments where your mind is open and another like-minded spirit will brush into (and enter) your life.
- Don’t be afraid to explore.
- Talk with everyone at events that interest you. Appearance attracts the eyes; the mind attracts and connects the soul.
- Like-minded people attend the strangest events together. Always be mindful of the people you are with. Keep an open mind and share your stories.
I know it is tempting to rely on appearance. Looks age. The mind grows more beautiful with age; our bodies do not cooperate so much. Appearance will attract you into the first meeting/conversation. The actual conversation will cement the life-long relationship.
Closing the Deal
Mrs. Accountant and I did not consider what we were doing a business deal. Let me remind you, marriage is a contract. The day Mrs. Accountant and I met she refused to give me her name, address, or phone number. Smart girl! I begged her to return the following week. She did!
I invited Mrs. Accountant to leave the bar for a table near the bowling alley where the noise was less (you snicker here). We talked for hours. In a weak moment she gave me her name and phone number. As an accomplished stalker I discovered her address and showed up the next day. As fortune would have it her daddy did not greet me with a shotgun. We continued talking over dinner in her home this time.
The first night at the bowling alley cemented the deal. It was all over. The rest of our lives we would share. We both shared our life stories. Vast amounts of our lives interconnected. Those facts alone led us to believe we were meant for each other. Time has proven us right. After a few years of adjustment, we settled into a life where we never argue. We do not always agree, but we never argue. There is no need. We understand and respect each other.
If you are looking for a special someone to share your life with, consider my advice. Always talk. Start at day one and communicate. Build a strong connection. Share your story. Include the special someone into your future story. Dream. Dream together.
If you have found your soul mate, as I have, please share in the comments. I love a great story with a happy ending.
Life Hack: Job Security and Financial Independence
Saturday 26th of January 2019
[…] had to let go and accept my world would not be constant silent solitude anymore; I had a roommate. My world would have people in it: a wife and later children. It sounds petty to my ears now, but it caused me angst twenty-five years ago. The important thing […]
Saturday 10th of February 2018
We celebrated 28 years in December, and our marriage grows more precious every year. I think it’s important to “become” the type of person you would like to attract. And write a list of what you want in a mate. I did, and it clarified my thinking strongly. After a few months of dating I dug out the list again. He was close to 90%!
The Jolly Ledger
Thursday 2nd of June 2016
I met Mr. TJL in Junior High. It wasn't until high school that he asked me out...in the cafeteria. Our lives diverged after that for about 6 years when we both went off to college and had our respective adventures. But we found our way back to each other and he has been a wonderful mate for 15 years now!
Thursday 2nd of June 2016
Thursday 2nd of June 2016
Either that or we are all happily married like Mr and Mrs Wealthy Accountant.
Wednesday 1st of June 2016
It's weirdly depressing no one else has commented on this particular post. Guess everyone who reads this are loners. Oh well.