Humor

I preempt our regular programming. I had an awesome post planned for today, but then my oldest daughter returned from college and told me something that made my mouth sweat. (You can enjoy the planned awesome post Thursday.)

Regular readers may remember I swore off commercial television decades ago, including my beloved football (not to be confused with soccer, my non-North American friends). Still, football is a massive part of the backwoods lifestyle of Phuket, Wisconsin. (Can you blame us? It’s all we have! Either that or admiring our frozen tundra.)

Now I know what you’re thinking. You like football and if you enjoy the sport you should be able to enjoy the sport. I agree. But readers around here are frugal and it takes a king’s ransom to get into the game! If you’re lucky enough to be in the 1% it’s still affordable, but if you’re in the 1% somebody else paid for those tickets or you don’t attend such extravagant events. Paying for NFL game tickets is for the 99% and chumps.

Disclaimer: This is not a political rant! The time is ripe for this message and Trump happens to be President. It is meant as satire wrapped around a serious message you must follow or suffer the financial consequences.

Nothing is more fun than good times. The recent run in the stock market in nothing short of incredible. After years of slow growth economy and low inflation coupled with a rising stock market, the stock market has exploded. The chart has gone parabolic! But this is not a story about investing or the stock market, however. This story is about pissing off Donald Trump.

Promises of faster economic growth and more high paying jobs face reality after Election Day. President Trump has hitched his wagon to a promise of hyper economic growth, in the neighborhood of 4% or higher. Depending on the day, a lot higher. I’m guessing if things go well we can see wages double every three, maybe four, years. And the best part, no inflation while the government pays off the national debt and increases spending across the board. Such are the promises of politicians.

When someone in the local area makes the news for embezzlement it is not a matter of if they will show up at my office, it is a matter of when they show up. The same scenario plays out every time. Someone gets caught with her fingers in the cookie jar (usually for gambling) and charges are filed. The district attorney prosecutes the case. (Embezzlement cases make the news and the district attorney is a politician who can’t help getting on her knees to earn some votes.)

Most embezzlement cases end with a conviction, or more often, a plea agreement. The accused is eager to make a deal that keeps her out of prison. The DA and judge soil themselves with the familiar sentencing template. The defense attorney has no choice but to recommend her client goes along with the deal to stay out of jail.

I see the same agreements again and again. The prosecutor demands a brutal repayment plan to the victim, the judge rubber stamps the deals and the accused jumps up screaming, “I’ll take it!”

The topic of college costs came up and the payment of student loans. I have no sympathy. Student loans are a cancer that need to be excised immediately. The argument was other debt should be paid first before student loans. I disagreed. Let’s listen in on the conversation.